Thinking it or feeling it?
I can control what I think. I can only influence what I feel. So much is written and there are so many models around regarding this topic. I like to be direct and simple, I can think one thing but feel the opposite. Which is more important? It depends – rational thinking is essential to get through life but the ability to influence your own emotions is the difference between a happy or a miserable existence.
Have you tried influencing your own emotions? It’s a difficult task! Do we control our emotions or do they control us? How much of what we do is really emotionally driven? Is there a huge gender difference here too? Try and pinpoint everything you are feeling right now. Even that’s not easy. I find that getting to know what someone else is feeling gives me an enormous amount of information to work with when influencing them; but people are not always forthcoming in telling you how they feel. Try asking someone how they actually ‘feel’ about something. You will find they have a tendency to tell you what they think instead.You have to interogate to get them to identify feelings.
I truly believe there is a huge power in emotion – undiscovered and unexploited. Well perhaps there are good examples of the exploitation of emotions, but the power has definitely not been harnessed.
I also find it fascinating that some seem to control their emotions with relative ease whilst others don’t even try; do they have a choice? There are many self-help books and models with suggestions of how to do this. All I know is the mechanism that works for me. I use ‘thinking’ and repetition to try and influence emotion e.g. Positive Thinking. But at the end of the day it is when I ‘feel’ a thing that I truly believe it. So when I am feeling a way I don’t like I search for a way to change that feeling and most of the time that involves telling myself what I want to hear. I use this technique, combined with external signals to validate what I am telling myself and eventually the feeling develops. In this way, gloomy worry and anxiety can turn into hope and excitement. Everything then looks different, or should I say everything then feels different!
I use a number of fascinating and challenging excercises with people to show them the true power of emotions. In this short clip you will meet Bertha the Boa. Believe me, she certainly has the impact of demonstrating what I am saying! Developing the ability to influence other peoples emotions is very powerful and can have a huge impact on performance. For me it is key to raising performance in tough times.
View the video below to see how we can help you get to grips with emotions and influence others emotions. For more information on ‘Emotional Intelligence’ email: cherie@cherieconcannon.co.uk
embedded by Embedded Video
Download Video
